Wednesday 30 June 2010

Oi, Nolan! Checkout my Batman 3 plot idea



The recent Batman franchise is a tad more sophisticated than the weekly lycra and silk-infested pantomimic drama of the 1960s, which usually featured a cliff-hanger whereby the Caped Crusader (a safe sex euphemism?) is lowered at an unfeasibly slow pace, unsupervised, into a bubbling cauldron of sulfuric acid.


The subtext, I assume, was that repressed homosexuals with a penchant for dress-up are, on earth or in the underworld, going to wind-up being burnt to death in a searing hot pot of boiling day-glow green crap.

Forty-odd years later, an impeccably mannered English grad named Christopher Nolan (with no known history of minority prejudice) stepped up to give the comic book icon back his dignity- and right the wrongs of Joel Schumacher’s butchering of Tim Burton's respectable re-imagining in the late eighties.

If you haven't seen the last Batman film, The Dark Knight, then frankly, you've bought shame upon your family and need a serious rethink of your life priorities.

Those who have seen it will remember that we left Bale's Batman escaping the rath of the cops, and Gotham, after he took the fall for Harvey Dent (Two Face)'s political wrongdoings. The ending would have actually worked pretty well as a franchise finale, showing as it did, how the superhero is a flawed, unachievable notion.

However, there's cash to made, and we now know that a third film will follow, the last in the franchise, and one which will definitely not see the Joker return.

It's my conjecture that Nolan was planning for Ledger to return, but for personal reasons he couldn't face putting another actor in his place. Anyway, with these scant details in mind, here's my idea for how the script could/should/will/might pan out:

The film would focus on Bruce Wayne's dilemma whether to hang up the pointy-eared getup for good- or re-don the suit and win back the favour of the masses. Because it's a film and stuff, it's a safe bet to assume he'll do for the latter. But how will he get into that situation?

The way I see it is that, after the death of his missus in the last film, this outing is a great chance to indulgence in some moody self loathing on BW's part. The franchise has focused on Batman as an 'ideal' so far, with the character of Bruce Wayne relatively unexamined.

Wayne, in my script idea, will be a shadow of his former self, turning to drugs and licker to get over his grief at losing everything. He will be distanced from Alfred and getting his kicks in Gotham's underground nightlife scene. It's here where he'll meet his strongman rival Bane, and also Catwoman.

Getting the Bat/Cat romantic frisson right would test Nolan's directorial sensibilities, and could easily descend into high-camp innuendos. Catwoman, therefore, would have to be a match intellectually for B-Dubya. I think she should be a feline-themed stripper (naturally) who Bruce meets on one of his nihilistic all-night binges.

As an outlet for his rage and to hone his combat skills, BW would take part in an underground Ultimate Fighter style contest- the perfect introduction to Bane, a steroid fiend with whom he would develop an out-of-the-ring rivalry, maybe because Bane also wants to get himself some of Catwoman's... (if only there were a feline-themed word for female genitalia).

Another potential plot twist could bring in a wider political storyline that would serve to bring BW out of hiding and into the Batsuit once more. Way I see it, Catwoman- by day- would be a high flying PR girl for a popular political figure who has links with a nefarious secret society bent on turning Gotham, and the world, into an Orwellian dictatorship.

Said politician would suffer from a bi-polar psychological illness, which prompts him to hint at his real agenda using clues and symbology in his public television appearances, campaign posters etc. If you haven't guessed already, Catwoman's client is also moonlighting as... The Riddler!

For the ending, I would like to see Batman expose The Riddler's pesky scheming and win back the trust of the public, before having an epic face-off with Bane.

The strongman would perhaps have the opportunity to kill the masked hero, but opt to break his back instead (as he does in the comic book, I'm told). This would give the next director room to do a Rocky-esque Batman rehab movie, or start afresh.


Hell, they could even have a plot line where Batman befriends a potential successor, starting a new Robin franchise.

Whaddya reckon? Good thinking Batman?

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