Wednesday 17 February 2010

Quick Brit Awards rant...

I don't pretend to know exactly who epitomises the zeitgeist, but it's safe to say that Mel B, The Spice Girls, Samantha Fox, Mel B again, and Noddy Holder aren't exactly the darlings the showbiz world nowadays.

Mel B's recent appointment as Maharishi and bastion of all worldly knowledge must have passed me by. Why the hell was she deemed suitable to present nearly every award- What did you think of Lady Gaga's performance Mel B? Who do you appreciate in the current music scene Mel B? Is man nearer the central truth in his superstitions, than he is in his science, Mel B?

Peter Kay, who got progressively funnier as the night went on, did his best to hold the event together. I enjoyed his quips about the 'diversity' of Lord of the Rings 1,2 and 3 star Andy Circus' acting career.

His description of Liam Gallagher ("a knobhead") was spot on too. Honestly, who actually cares about Oasis since Morning Glory anyway? and why does a man who ran away when a teenager attacked his brother onstage still posture as a hardman?

Maybe we should ask Mel B.

Besides Kay, humour was woefully absent. Acceptance speeches fell flat on their faces and were completely ignored by an audience chatting amongst themselves, understandably.

Elsewhere, Jonathan Ross' rapper disguise made Richard Madeley's Ali G prank look like a deftly observed Wildian parody. Seriously, what the feck was he doing?

Other celebrities were acting a little, odd, too. Dizzee Rascal apparently thinks it's socially acceptable to perform a antler horn-locking jig with a member of his entourage as a gesture of jubilation, Cheryl Cole showed off her knack of mouthing the words to lyrics she'd previously uttered and Lily Allen donned a wig based on Chris Evans' hair circa 1996.

On the plus side, Jay-Z smacked it, and Kay was quite funny. Oh, I said that already. Yeah, bit of a damp squib the 'ol Brit Awards, but then, it is a show voted for by GMTV viewers.